Da amizade e da distância, mas nunca do esquecimento
Ao João Nery, a única Serpente que não temo
"(...)No more misery
Look outside and see
What are you waiting for?
Pick yourself up
Get up off the floor."
Bring Me Victory by My Dying Bride
Look outside and see
What are you waiting for?
Pick yourself up
Get up off the floor."
Bring Me Victory by My Dying Bride
Meu Amigo,
a tua voz tem o sabor da partilha de noites, músicas e mágoa...
Quantas lágrimas minhas se desfizeram nos teus ombros? Mais do que as minhas palavras algum dia poderão contar, até porque as minhas palavras estão gastas e acanham-se perante a grandeza das de outros que admiro, entre eles tu. O único resistente, como que um sobrevivente de uma avalanche de normalidade e quotidiano.
Orgulho-me de ti sabes?! Sinto saudades tuas, da tua ausência presente mesmo quando estavas na mesma mesa de café, das intermináveis noites em que cantávamos melancolias como se fossem nossas. Às vezes tento lembrar-me da nossa primeira conversa, não da primeira trivial, da primeira séria, pesada, mas todas elas se fundem como se fizessem parte de um livro com imensos capítulos tipo... aqueles livros que supostamente não devemos ler antes de uma certa idade porque nunca os conseguiremos compreender e de alguma forma isto lembra-me Maldoror, porque recordo-me do meu entusiasmo ao relatar-te que finalmente tinha conseguido comprar o livro e o quanto me andava a deliciar com a escrita de Lautréamont. E lembro-me do teu sorriso compreensivo, como se fosses um pai perante um filho e a sua primeira descoberta.
Apesar da nossa diferença de idades tu foste meu pai numa imensidão de coisas, assim como foste a alma que me amparou em demasiadas horas negras que escolhi percorrer pela minha conhecida teimosia ou como alguém um dia lhe chamou, "predisposição para o abismo".
Agora, entre a distância e laços tenuemente atados, vou-te lendo, o meu último sobrevivente da escrita :) e tu pedes-me que escreva de novo, mas eu já não tenho saudades de me ler, gosto que as horas negras que me levavam a uma masturbação mental que acabava em textos neste blog estejam guardadas aqui mesmo, em outros tempos, ou nos cadernos que tão bem soube conservar na casa dos meus pais numa qualquer caixa de papel da qual perdi rasto.
Das minhas palavras escritas já não gosto João. Acabei por aprender a amar a verbalização das mesmas, a amar os silêncios que antes temia, mas ainda assim... quando a voz estrangula, encontro sempre um recanto onde a posso deixar respirar e elas, as palavras, acabam, inevitavelmente, por adormecer no meio da tempestade.
A ouvir My Dying Bride - For Lies I Sire
a tua voz tem o sabor da partilha de noites, músicas e mágoa...
Quantas lágrimas minhas se desfizeram nos teus ombros? Mais do que as minhas palavras algum dia poderão contar, até porque as minhas palavras estão gastas e acanham-se perante a grandeza das de outros que admiro, entre eles tu. O único resistente, como que um sobrevivente de uma avalanche de normalidade e quotidiano.
Orgulho-me de ti sabes?! Sinto saudades tuas, da tua ausência presente mesmo quando estavas na mesma mesa de café, das intermináveis noites em que cantávamos melancolias como se fossem nossas. Às vezes tento lembrar-me da nossa primeira conversa, não da primeira trivial, da primeira séria, pesada, mas todas elas se fundem como se fizessem parte de um livro com imensos capítulos tipo... aqueles livros que supostamente não devemos ler antes de uma certa idade porque nunca os conseguiremos compreender e de alguma forma isto lembra-me Maldoror, porque recordo-me do meu entusiasmo ao relatar-te que finalmente tinha conseguido comprar o livro e o quanto me andava a deliciar com a escrita de Lautréamont. E lembro-me do teu sorriso compreensivo, como se fosses um pai perante um filho e a sua primeira descoberta.
Apesar da nossa diferença de idades tu foste meu pai numa imensidão de coisas, assim como foste a alma que me amparou em demasiadas horas negras que escolhi percorrer pela minha conhecida teimosia ou como alguém um dia lhe chamou, "predisposição para o abismo".
Agora, entre a distância e laços tenuemente atados, vou-te lendo, o meu último sobrevivente da escrita :) e tu pedes-me que escreva de novo, mas eu já não tenho saudades de me ler, gosto que as horas negras que me levavam a uma masturbação mental que acabava em textos neste blog estejam guardadas aqui mesmo, em outros tempos, ou nos cadernos que tão bem soube conservar na casa dos meus pais numa qualquer caixa de papel da qual perdi rasto.
Das minhas palavras escritas já não gosto João. Acabei por aprender a amar a verbalização das mesmas, a amar os silêncios que antes temia, mas ainda assim... quando a voz estrangula, encontro sempre um recanto onde a posso deixar respirar e elas, as palavras, acabam, inevitavelmente, por adormecer no meio da tempestade.
A ouvir My Dying Bride - For Lies I Sire
38 Comments:
Tens uma alma grande e generosa, minha querida. :) Escusado dizer o quão fundo me tocaram as tuas palavras.
Beijoão!
P. S. Gosto muito de ti, sabias? Vê se voltas. Escreve, rapariga!
um dia aprenderemos a ler o silêncio dos que escrevem.
um abraço, eye of horus. tenho passado por aqui...
Mais importante que ler ou escrever ou ser-se muito profundo nas palavras que deixamos que os outros leiam, é VIVER em conformidade com aquilo em que se acredita.
:)
Nery, neste momento peço-te esta criatura emprestada porque revejo-me tanto nestas palavras.
Em suma, join the dark side. We have cookies. ;)
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